This is an older RRC test that someone on another board pulled up again recently that still is a heck of a lot of fun to run through. So I figured I'd post the whole thing here for you to enjoy. BTW, I scored a 108. THE COASTER RIDERS' PURITY TEST Friends, I'd like to share a piece I have been working on for a while. It seems a lot of people come on the Internet newsgroup "rec.roller-coaster" and ask "How can one tell if (insert name here) is a coaster fanatic?". This document should help them (and you) out. For Jeff Foxworthy fans, feel free to end each one of these with "You just might be a coaster nut". For those Purity Test fans, count 1 point for each item you have done, then score as follows: 0 - 10 = Why are You Even on this Site? 11 - 49 = First Level of Interest in Coasters 50 - 75 = You like Coasters a Lot. 76 - 149 = Prime Coaster Enthusiast (You should join a coaster club.) (ME) 150 - 199 = Fanatical Coaster Enthusiast 200 - 224 = You Need to Get a Life. 225 or more = You Require Serious Help! "You know you're a coaster nut if..." By Category: HOTELS: 1. You book a room with cable-tv and your primary concern is: "Do I get The Weather Channel?". 2. When at the hotel the only two channels you watch are "The Weather Channel" and the "Local Attraction Information Channel". 3. You judge the quality of a hotel by the number & variety of amusement park brochures in its rack. 4. You look for a hotel that features a water slide at the pool - and it's not for your kids. 5. You demand a data port in your room, and you're not a business traveller. 6. You post Trip Reports from your hotel room. 7. When staying at certain hotels, you request a `roller-coaster view'. VACATIONS: 1. When your primary consideration in trip planning is seeing different roller coasters. 2. When you travel to ordinarily dull towns that happen to feature an amusement park as your primary destination. 3. When you go to New York City and don't see Central Park, the Statue of Liberty or 42nd Street, but see every ride at Coney Island. 4. When you go to Largo, MD, and don't see one bit of Washington DC, but see all of Adventure World. 5. When you go on a European Vacation and see 55 coasters in 14 days, but not Buckingham Palace or The Eiffel Tower. 6. The sign "Amusement Park: Next Right" causes an immediate change in plans. 7. You interrupt your vacation because you see a travelling carnival. 8. You stop and look at rides that aren't even open. 9. You have already started planning a possible itinerary for the "800 Coasters" movie. 10. You feel the need to re-enact "National Lampoon's Vacation" or "Rollercoaster!". 11. You're on a business trip and your roller-coaster log is kept more up to date than your expense account log. 12. You figure you can justify the $35 park admission as an "entertainment expense". 13. You've ever gotten your company to pay for a coaster trip. 14. You've entered a contest to win a Coaster Trip. 14b You won. 15. You've gotten corporate sponsorship of your own coaster trip. AROUND THE HOUSE: 1. You have a scrapbook filled with ticket stubs, used Pay-One-Price wristbands, and unused ride coupons. 2. The scrapbook is labelled like a museum exhibit. 3. You have a special pad you take with you to collect re-admission stamps, and if the park didn't cooperate you got one on your hand and rolled it onto the pad. 4. You have a vest covered with patches you are proud to wear - and you aren't a scout troop member. 5. You have a brochure rack in your family room, filled with amusement park pamphlets and park maps. 6. You have dumpster-dived behind travel agencies for life-size stand-up roller coaster ads that now adorn your walls. 7. Your bookshelf's main eye-level shelf contains books that can all be purchased through Gunther Hall or Amusement Park Books. 8. Your video cabinet has a shelf full of park and coaster videos. 9. You have ever put a coaster point-of-view video tape in your VCR and made your own motion simulator by imitating airtime and laterals. 10. You buy your `kids' products from Bandi and K-Nex. 10b You play with them more than your kids. 11. Your model train layout is boring, just a dull oval, HOWEVER, the amusement park tableaux inside the oval is incredible. 12. You paid to watch those 3-D coaster movies on pay-per-view. 13. Your magazine rack only has "Rollercoaster!", "First Drop", "Amusement Business" and related magazines. 14. You have a coaster car in your family room for a conversation piece. 14a. You actually sit in that car. 14b. With the lap bar locked 14c. Hands above your head 14d. Screaming 14e. While watching coaster tapes on your VCR. 15. Your wall hangings are all poster size coaster photos and framed coaster calendar pictures. 16. Your glassware is all amusement park mugs. 16a. That you won playing "Skeeball". 17. Your kid's toy collection grows depending on how good you are at throwing balls at targets, ringing bottles, or similar activities. 17a. You keep all the stuffed animals you win for yourself! 17b. You can name which park and at which game each was won. 18. You buy all your summer wardrobe at a theme park gift shop. 19. Your refrigerator magnet collection is all from theme parks. 20. Common items in your house are coaster logoed: bottle openers, key chains, playing cards, nail clippers, mugs, frisbees. 21. You have coaster items that (ahem) can't be purchased at the parks gift shop (i.e.: signage, height check poles, used coaster parts, lap bar keys, front car logos, etc.). 22. You save ANYTHING park related, right down to paper drink cups, ketchup packets, and gift boxes, so long as they have a park or ride logo. 23. You have a collection of Sipper Cups (sports bottles) you get with a $4 soda. 23b. You never take advantage of the cheap refill offers, instead opting for another souvenir cup with a different design. 24. You have a theme park credit card (Disney), or a credit card with a theme park design, or a credit card with a theme park promotion attached. 25. You have Disney Dollars or Scooby Bucks in your `foreign currency' collection. 26. You have a roller coaster postcard collection. 26b. and try to pass it off as your photo album. 27. You can't find the photo albums of your Wedding or your son's college graduation, but can find "Blackpool Pleasure Beach - 1975" in under 10 minutes. 28. Your coaster photo albums outnumber your non-coaster photo albums. 29. Your photo developer refers to you as "The guy who always brings in the roller coaster pictures". 30. Your camera has special attachments to either take better pictures while riding, or an attached harness to insure it won't leave your hand during the ride. 31. Some smart alec has given you *DRINK* coasters as a gag gift. 31a. You gave them to yourself as a gag gift. 31b. They are coaster or park logoed. COMPUTER: 1. You consider a fully loaded computer as one that comes preloaded with Disney's "Coaster", Bullfrog's "Theme Park", "Poller Coaster Tycoon", Internet software, a roller coaster screen saver, and maybe a database program to track your coaster census and track record. 2. For this reason you consider a 486 SX-50 to be just right for your needs. 3. You want this in a laptop configuration so you can keep up-to-date on the various Internet rollercoaster resources while on your coaster trip. 4. You put "CAD Experience" on your resume and present a portfolio of Disney Coaster tracks as a reference. 5. You put "Architecture" on your resume and present a portfolio of "Theme Park" parks as a reference. 6. Your personal home page is all about rollercoasters. 7. You have a coaster related e-mail address name. 8. Your Start Page is a rollercoaster site, and it's NOT yours. 9. You skip Wall Street Journal Interactive and head straight for the Ultimate Guide "Rumours" page. 10. Your favourite `web-search' site is maintained by Mr. Melego or Mr. Constanja. 11. The only reason you get a 36.6 modem is to download coaster .avi's faster. 12. You have a coaster mouse pad. 13. You have a coaster screen saver. 13b. That you designed. 14. You have over 10mb's of Coaster JPEGs. 15. You wish more ride manufacturers would put their catalog on line. 16. You uninstall "MS Works" because you just HAVE to see that new coaster movie file. 17. You put down your champagne on New Year's and rushed to see if "World of Coasters" was ready. 18. You put a black shroud over your monitor when World of Coasters went off line a while back, and just now removed it. 19. You consider an Amusement Park links page and a six pack to be quality entertainment. 20. You use "Paint" to draw your own park layout and your own coaster. 21. You start counting park websites in your park visitation record. 22. You wish IWERKS would come up with a motion sim plug-in for Netscape so you could see how these new coasters RIDE. 23. You have a old laptop that you can take on coaster trips with you, so you can record your Trip Reports while fresh in your mind. 24. You have a pocket tape recorder to record your trip *AS IT HAPPENS*. 25. You carry a palmtop so you can correct other park guests about the obscure statistics of some ride in a park different from the one you're in. 26. You take your tape recorder and palmtop on the roller coaster with you. 26b. You USE the palmtop while riding the coaster. 27. You have visions of what would happen if Microsoft came up with an "MS Coaster" operating system, based on Win 95. 28. You want a copy of B&M's CAD system. 29. You leave software stores in dismay, noting they never carry anything coaster related. VIDEO GAMES: 1. You agree to play ANY video game, as long as it is coaster related. 2. You collect video games solely on wether there is a coaster or park pictures somewhere in the games backdrop. 3. You play "Virtual Racing" on the `Easy' level so you can see the carnival at the last turn. 4. You play that "Mr. Do!'s Wild Ride" game. 4b. You OWN a "Mr. Do!'s Wild Ride" game. 5. You pester your arcade operator to put Coaster and Theme Park in all his locations. 6. When you enter an arcade you head straight for the pinball machines. 6a. If given a choice of machines, you play the one with the most habitrails and ramps. 6b. If you spot a "Cyclone", "Comet", or "Hurricane" pinball machine you feel obligated to play it. 6c. No matter what condition it is in. 6d. You OWN a "Cyclone", "Comet" or "Hurricane" pinball machine. 7. Your only exposure to arcades is at amusement parks, during lightning storms. 8. You have 10,000 skeeball tickets - 100 each from 100 parks. CAR: 1. Your car is a convertible, with the top down, the headrests removed, bench seats, and lap belts only. 2. You drive an old car and use the money you would have spent for new car payments on roller coasters. 3. You have a little sign on the dash that says "Remain Seated - Keep hands and legs inside the vehicle". 4. You don't allow eating, drinking or smoking in your car because they are not allowed on coasters. 5. You expect the car to stop on its own. 6. You expect the car to steer itself around sharp turns. 7. You flush load your car, everybody gets in one side, and slides across. To exit, they continue sliding and get out the other side. 8. You feel the need to tug on all your passengers' restraints before starting the car. 9. You require TWO riders in the back seat, (or the last seat in a van). 10. You sneak a copy of the "Space Mountain" music, and put it on an endless loop tape to play in your car. 11. You put a "Do Not Stand Up" sign over your driveway. 12. You paint yellow lines on both sides of the garage floor a safe distance from the car. 13. You install corral lines in your garage. 14. You install a turnstile in the doorway leading to the garage. 15. You modify your garage so it has a garage door at both ends. 16. You have an accelerometer on your dashboard. 17. Before leaving your garage you give a safety spiel. If you are a Cedar Point fan, upon returning to the garage you announce "Welcome Back Riders...". 17a. Even if you are the only passenger. SOCIAL LIFE 1. You are thrilled to read in the club/church/work newsletter about an amusement park outing. (More so than the kids) 2. You are even more thrilled to have an outing at a traditional amusement park. 3. You are the only person in a group who knows what a "traditional amusement park" is. 4. You arranged the outing 5. You have crashed a private party... at an amusement park. 6. In conversation when someone mentions a city for any reason, you rattle off the nearest park and its rollercoasters. 7. When going bowling, you envy the ball because it gets to ride the ball return. 8. You pass on a golf outing to go coaster riding. 9. When at a bar, you try to impress the patrons with your track record. 10. You save bar ID-check wristbands. 10a. You try to pass them off as park wristbands. 11. Your idea of a date is to invite the prospect to Canada's Wonderland. 12. You *attempt* to serve a theme park theme dinner at your next pot-luck, with the finest park pizza, fudge, french fries, Dippin Dots, funnel cakes,and frozen lemonade. 13. Charities know who to call if doing an amusement ride-a-thon. 14. When a charity does a door-to-door sales pitch, you pull out an equally impressive Save "Leap the Dips" sales-pitch for revenge. 15. When at a park with a date, you suggest rides, such as The "Log Flume", "Enterprise", and "Jumbo Jet". 16. Your social club memberships include coaster club and amusement park historical groups. 17. If not for Coaster Conventions you would not know what a convention center was. 18. You sign up for work-related conventions, that just so happen to occur in the same general area as a Coaster Convention. 18a. You attend the full Coaster Con but just make a brochure run of the work related convention, . 19. All your closest friends are coaster club members. 20. You call skydivers and bungee jumpers `crazy lunatics', then line up for "Skycoasters", "Ejector Seats", "Giant Drops", "Space Shots", "Turbo Drops", etc. 21. When someone mentions friendly competition, you think of spin-and-spew endurance contests. 22. You play poker for Blackpool ride coupons. 23. When you go to a cultural fair or festival, your overriding thought is "Who is supplying the midway rides?". 24. You can turn *ANY* conversation into something coaster related in less than two minutes. 25. Normal social groups class you as an outcast, because you bored them all with coaster lore. COASTER RIDING PRACTICES and AMUSEMENT PARK VISITS 1. You *ALWAYS* call before leaving the home or hotel requesting a complete status report for ALL the park's coasters. 2. You have alternative parks in mind in case the coaster is closed where you are. 3. You arrive at a park before the parking lot opens - in hopes of getting free parking by sneaking into the lot. 4. You are standing at the ticket cage long before it opens, already have coupons in hand, have figured with tax exactly how much a ticket is going to cost, and have that much money prepared to expedite getting your ticket. 5. You pick up a park map, (unless you already got one sent to your house some time before), and plot the shortest course from Point A (The front Gate), to Point B (The waiting area for the park's best coaster), before the turnstiles are opened. 6. You enter the park, walk as fast as Security will let you, and will be in a remote section of park long before anyone, except the locals. 7. You immediately strike up a coaster chat with anybody in line who cares. 8. You have already reviewed the coasters profile, and know just where to sit. 9. You have a coaster riding pattern: Front seat first, then a back seat them a middle seat, then choose the best of the three. 10. You have a ride evaluation checklist, and attempt to objectively evaluate each coaster. 11. You don't need to be told how to fasten/unfasten the restraints. 12. You carry your own riding accessories, such as straps to prevent ratchet bars coming down mid-ride, and even seat belt extenders. 13. You have a system to prevent ratchet bars being lowered too far by well-meaning operators. 14. You know how to work the buckles on PTC trains. 15. You have a park visitation method that would make the suggested plans in the "Unofficial Guide" books look vague. 16. You can carry on a conversation all the way through the queue and up the lift, but as soon as you crest the lift, you shut up, then restart the conversation when you hit the final brakes, exactly where you left off. 17. You know proper riding posture on a given ride to avoid "unnecessary roughness". 18. On a four-abreast coaster with 32 seats, you will only sit in 18 of them. 19. You can identify the manufacturer of a coaster you have never seen before just by looks. 20. You have no qualms about paying $30 to stand in line 5 hours to ride the latest thing in coastering. 21. You have no qualms about paying $30 when you know you have less than 5 hours to enjoy a park. 22. At a pay-per-ride park you analyze every purchase in terms of coaster rides. (i.e. Those Potato Patch fries look awesome, but they will cost me two "Thunderbolt" rides!) 23. Instead of taking time out to eat in the park cafeteria, you snatch a lunch from a grab joint, then head on over to the coaster with the longest line in the park, and eat lunch peacefully, while waiting in line. 24. You can spot your favourite flat rides from the other side of the park. 25. You can ride any ride without getting sick. 26. You have "longevity Contest" on rides - Who can ride the most without vomiting. 27. You don't consider Flying Scooters to be a kiddie ride. 28. You despise motion simulator attractions, and think of them as wasted midway space. 29. You don't mind Cinema 180, because you can count on a coaster being shown most of the time. 30. You know who manufactured the flat ride you are on. 31. You know every bit of the coaster (where the air is, where the laterals are, etc) so much so you could ride blindfolded and not have any surprises. 32. You despise over-the-shoulder restraints more than you do motion-simulators. 33. You think any Schwarzkopf or Hopkins looper without shoulder restraints should be an ACE Coaster Classic. 34. You wonder why some coasters are/are not coaster classics. 35. You know the history of the park you are visiting. 36. You ride The "Skycoaster" so much, the crew does not give you the normal safety spiel, just "You know the drill, enjoy the ride". 37. You think of smart-alec pranks that are so bad, no one would ever pull them off - right, Todd Long? 38. Your season pass collection exceeds your credit card collection. 39. You have a season pass to every park known by man. 40. You want to give Kennywood management a sales pitch on the concept of season passes. 41. You go out of your way to find the kiddie coaster, then spend a decent amount of time scheming your way on to it. 42. You have the spiel memorized and perfected to borrow strangers' kids to achieve goal 41. 43. You carry your log book with you at all times. 44. You use a hand-counter to count total rides on a given coaster per day. 45. You have "MS Excel" analyze your ride log. 46. You go to a park just to ride a Pinfari "Zyklon". 47. You go to a park anyway, not knowing what coasters they have. 48. The park gift shop offers you easy-financing on your purchases. 49. You have no qualms about putting $2 in Coke machine at a park. 50. You trek clear from the back of the park to the front, then out to your car to have a Coke, so that $2 can be put toward another coaster ride. 51. You have debates over the relationship of the park's ride selection to the brand of soft drinks served. smile.gif 52. You debate if a certain thrill ride in California is a coaster. 53. You debate if racers count as one or two coasters for your log. 54. You debate if kiddie coasters count for your log. EDUCATION: 1. Your primary reason for maintaining a good discipline and attendance record is the big end of school year theme park field trip. 2. You have attended a park science day. 3. You honestly did the work assigned at a science day. 4. You copied someone else's work at a science day in order to get in more rides. 4a. You shirked the work at a science day and took a zero, but man, was it worth it for no-wait coaster lines! 5. You think "Amusement Park-ology" should be an accepted major. 5a. Physics - How Coasters and other rides work. 5b. Art- How to make a Coaster look as appealing as it does. 5c. Music - Learn to Play & Compose Ride Theme Music. 5d. Math - How to Measure Stats, How to Analyze your Ride Log. 5e. Accounting - Designing a Coaster Trip Budget. 5f. History - History of Amusement Parks and Coasters. 5g. English - Art of Writing Trip Reports. 6. You held on to, and actually used, the accelerometer during physics day. MISCELLANEOUS: 1. You learn to fly a helicopter in order to get aerial photographs. 2. You learn to fly a helicopter/Cessna in order to get to far-away parks in less time. 3. You have ever considered a normal everyday device as an amusement ride. (i.e. subways, busses, express elevators, swivel chairs, Paris cabs.) 4. You have walked a roller-coaster track. 4a. Without the park knowing about it. smile.gif 5. You compare everything to roller-coastering, and I do mean EVERY thing. 6. Your folks/friends/relatives/teachers/boss/co-workers etc. have ever gotten upset because you talk coasters too much. 7. When a clerk asks for two forms of ID (to cash a check, buy alcohol or cigarettes), you show your driver's license and then let your accordion style wallet drop open, revealing a plethora of season passes. 8. The sight of a coat hanger brings visions of a certain coaster designer 9. You curse Ron Toomer every time you bang you head on a rollercoaster harness. 10. You celebrate La Marcus Thompson's birthday. 11. You attend IAAPA, and have no working connection in the theme park industry. 12. You go without food for a week in order to afford IAAPA. 13. You offer the back 40 of your farm to Walter and Claude for use as "development testing grounds' in exchange for.... 14. You have seriously wanted your own amusement ride, of any type. 14a. You seriously considered buying your own amusement ride. 14b. You HAVE bought your own amusement ride. 14c. You designed some sort of fancy-shmancy hi-tech remote control device, in order to ride your ride by yourself. 14d. You have a staff to run your ride for you. 15. You realize most coaster shows are Cedar Point info-mericals in disguise. 16. You actually produce the "800 coasters" movie. 16a. You let a schmuck like me have a major role. 16b. Now you can't get 100% on this unless I get in the movie smile.gif 17. Your Monday Nights are filled by something called IRC. PLUG: Monday nights 9pm Eastern castle.starchat.net 6667 #roller-coaster 18. A rollercoaster magazine in your mail takes precedence over any other items, including your check from Ed McMahon and that job offer. 19. You think of the Lottery Jackpot in terms of how many amusement rides it could buy. 20. You purchase a winter house in the South so you can be close to a year- round park in the winter, and a summer house in the north, so you can take advantage of seasonal parks in the summer. 21. You purchase a used diesel, school, or city bus, redo the interior and call it "The Coaster Express"; then use it to haul 40 coaster enthusiasts from event to event at a convention. 22. You freelance with "Coaster Express" and use it to take tour groups of 40 coaster enthusiasts around to see parks, and make money in the process. (Remember a lot of places admit the bus driver free. smile.gif 23. You paint the outside of "Coaster Express" to please any coaster enthusiast. 24. You threaten to sue the Las Vegas Holiday Inn for emotional damages after being deceived by their billboard. 25. You go to Las Vegas and spend more on the rides and shows than the rest of your party looses to the gaming tables and slot machines. 26. You are over 21, go to Vegas, but ride the rides and do not gamble $1. 27. You are over 21, go to Vegas, and try to gamble in order to get enough money to ride for your whole vacation, `on the house'. 28. You go to the Stratosphere Tower, and spend a week's salary on "Big Shot" tickets. 29. You expect free coaster rides to be awarded for earning slot points. 30. You go to Vegas and take book on the results of "endurance contests" on the MGM Grand's "Zipper". 31. You go to the Stardust, and actually place a bet on that rumoured wager they offer about how soon someone will fall off of the High Roller. 32. You bet big at the Stardust, and get in touch with "The Young Man" to make it happen. 33. You insist on carrying a suitcase on the rides at Kings Dominion. 34. You are on a student activities board, and book "Rollercoaster" into the Student Movie Series. 35. You hold down hard on the lap bars on "Thrill!" so they don't open on the lift. 36. Instead of celebrating your child's birth date, you celebrate their height increases. 37. You search music stores everywhere for Dana Schwartz's new CD. 38. You make travel plans to Bithlo, FL, to go visit Longworld, without first making sure the park even exists. 39. You arrive at Bithlo, FL and ask at the corner gas station for directions to the park. 40. You can't take the news that The "Big Woodie" does not exist, and put out a contract on Todd Long's life. 41. On your way through Ohio you decide to check out those state-of-the-art coasters at Dave's Dominion in Xanadu, OH. 42. You wind up at Cedar Point and forget all about Dave's Dominion. 43. You go looking for the steel coaster at Stricker's Grove.... "Whadaya mean you don't have a steel coaster! Both ACE Census and "Roller Coaster Lover's Companion" say its here!" 44. You go out of your way to go visit closed parks Idora, Chippewa (Ohio), Lincoln Park, the original Elitch Gardens, etc. 45. You know all that Premier Parks owns. 46. You have confidence in Phoenix Rides smile.gif 47. You wake up half-asleep but suddenly spring to life on that first drop of the day. 48. You ride roller coasters during your work break. 49. You ride roller-coasters after 12 hours of work. 50. You leave work at 7 PM on day 1, go 300 miles, get to hotel at 2 AM, sleep fast, go to park at 9 AM, stay till 8 PM, drive home 300 miles, get in at 3 AM, go in to work at 9 AM next day. (<<-GUILTY--<<) 51. You consider Canada's Wonderland a nice 3 day road trip...except you live in Cincinnati, Ohio! 52. You go to more than one amusement park in a day. 53. You go to amusement parks for more than 2 days in a row. 54. You are still energetic after 3 days in a row. 55. You have no shame in riding kiddie coasters. 56. You have no shame in hogging front or back seats of coasters. 57. You consider coaster riding to be a weight loss plan, walking from one ride to another. 58. You go to David H.'s "Fitness Amusement Park". 59. You remember David H.'s "Fitness Amusement Park". 60. You are STILL reading this! 61. You hear about a disaster at an amusement park, and ask if the coasters are all right before asking if anyone got hurt. 62. You remain perfectly emotionless during "Schindler's List", or "Mr. Holland's Opus", but at the sight of a documentary with a coaster destruction scene you start crying. 63. You know the procedure to use a park chain's season pass at other parks. 64. You look at a modern coaster and wonder how Traver or Miller would have done that ride. 65. You have a picture of Walter and Claude above your bed. 66. You have a certain "Sparks" album in your record collection, one that has "Filler Up" and "Big Boy" on it. 67. You have ridden a coaster whose structural integrity was questionable. 68. You have ridden a portable coaster. 69. You understood every one of these test items. 70. You honestly answered "Yes" to every one of these items.